Entirely Non-Deriddean Achivement-Centered Rankings of 53-Man Football-Playing Associations Through 9 Weeks

1. Indianapolis Colts (8-0)
2. New Orleans Saints (8-0)
3. Cincinnati Bengals (6-2)
4. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2)
5. Denver Broncos (6-2)
6. New England Patriots (6-2)
7. Minnesota Vikings (7-1)
8. Dallas Cowboys (6-2)
9. Houston Texans (5-4)
10. Baltimore Ravens (4-4)
11. Atlanta Falcons (5-3)
12. San Diego Chargers (5-3)
13. Philadelphia Eagles (5-3)
14. Miami Dolphins (3-5)
15. New York Jets (4-4)
16. Carolina Panthers (3-5)
17. Arizona Cardinals (5-3)
18. New York Giants (5-4)
19. Green Bay Packers (4-4)
20. Chicago Bears (4-4)
21. Tennessee Titans (2-6)
22. San Francisco 49ers (3-5)
23. Seattle Seahawks (3-5)
24. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-4)
25. Oakland Raiders (2-6)
26. Cleveland Browns (1-7)
27. Buffalo Bills (3-5)
28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-7)
29. Kansas City Chiefs (1-7)
30. Washington Redskins (2-6)
31. St. Louis Rams (1-7)
32. Detroit Lions (1-7)